To all of you people glued to your phone:
there is more to life than the latest iProduct.

Frankly, it kind of disturbs me to see people so attached to their cell phone, and you see it everywhere. Especially with girls. Ladies! Your iPhone should not be surgically attached to your palm. You do NOT need to check your hair for the 8 billionth time. You do NOT need to see if anyone posted a cute cat video to your Facebook page. You do NOT need to tweet every five seconds, or (for the less literate) post pictures on Instagram. Or Tumblr. And PLEASE, for the love of the minute-long attention span, steer clear of Snapchat. And Angry Birds. And Temple Run. And the new Apple store.

It seems that the latest app is all that matters to people anymore. "Ooh! Look what I can do with my new iMaster! It requires updating every 22 seconds! Isn't that cool?" Do yourself a favor, don't become an iSlave. Turning it off won't stop your heart, I promise.

What really concerns me, though, are the toddlers with iPhones. You see parents addicting their kids to the 6-inch touchscreen, showing them how to play games like Monkey Preschool Lunchbox, Playground 1 HD, Toca Train, Balloonimals, Bugdom, or Peekaboo Barn instead of catch, or going down a slide, or hunting for cool bugs and butterflies in the backyard. (And yes, all of those games are real and, apparently, very popular.)

So where will it end? Pretty soon we'll see pregnant mothers holding their iPhones to play music to their child in embryo. It makes me want to cry. Does anyone have an iTissue? I'm sure there's an app for that.