Austin+Q’s+2016+OpEd+Article

The Ballad of Han Solo

He shot Greedo first. The special edition edition is a lie. Greedo wanted to take him to Jabba, He did not pay him, so he had to die.

In 12 parsec's his ship ran the kessel run, The fastest ship around for Luke and Obi-Wan. Luke and Obi-Wan, with them there were two more They arrived and boarded, in docking bay ninety four

Having passage booked to Alderan, His passengers came with a master plan.

Once they reached their destination, there was nothing there. Save a moon, or a large space station. He had a bad feeling about boarding this star of death, Until he was told of a reward for saving this damsel in distress.

They snuck into the prison clothed trooper gear, With help from their wookie prisoner they showed no fear.

They finally met their princess Leia, Who was imprisoned there by Darth Dader.

She then mocked Luke for being so short, And after much lazer-fire, and witty retort, They were cut off with nowhere to abort.

Our captain demanded he not get caught, A grate in the wall Leia then shot.

They jumped down the hole Leia had made, And into a trash compactor they did wade. Of its smelly waters, they all complained. Until it closed in on them, And the monster unexplained.

With help from R2-D2 they were spared, Upon death of Obi-Wan they were scared.

To a rebel base they did race, Then shirking pride, a prize, He joined the rebel alliance, And the death star they did face.

With help from the force, And the rebel fleet Thanks to a band of misfits, The empire saw defeat.

Under Luke's piloting grace, That damn star was blown up without a trace.

And so Han Solo finally got his reward. A shiny gold medal, and the praise of the rebel horde.