Lizbeth+C’s+OpEd+Article

 There's something completely unauthentic about life at the moment, and I know something is wrong when even Mr. Geib noticed and asked in class "Are you okay Miss Camacho?" and the fact that I just told him I was tired makes me feel like a liar because I'm not physically tired. The past two weeks have been filled with "what's wrong?" or "are you okay?" or even "you seem a bit down. Do you need to talk?" Well, no i'm not okay, everything is wrong, and I am struggling to even communicate with my own friends because of the fact that they said "no one can trust Lizbeth", and no I don't want to talk to anyone (I suppose that's why I'm typing it). My parents have been less than useless in aiding my necessity of loneliness because all they want/expect me to do is clean the house. I now become aware that I am the least favorite child out of the 3 (even though it isn't verbalized but sensed/seen/felt). I am still sucking at school even though I'm actually trying a lot harder, I have backaches from scoliosis, and I can basically fill a cup with my tears right now and life is sucking to the extreme. I am so mentally exhausted, and I'm so done with everyone.

Well first off what is this crap "no one can trust Lizbeth"? Then what about you stop talking to me and walk the other way when you see me? I've been there for all you people I call "friends" and you say that. I don't even talk to you outside of school because if you haven't noticed, my social life is non-existent. I haven't talked to 2 other old friends because one was using me and the other was a self-centered smartass that believe herself to be better than everyone because her daddy has money (Newsflash honey, you still live on the avenue, and you're not smarter than half the junior class because your dad has his own construction company) so obviously I can live without you. My frustration with all of you is at a maximum (except for Michelle. Thanks for complaining about life with me in art. You keep me a little more sane). Not only am I completely frustrated with everyone at school, but also everyone at home, because my parents have made it clear that they don't like me, as well as my siblings. My sister talks about moving away because I'm annoying, and my brother says i'm a "stupid bitch" because I told him to do his homework. My parents make it clear that my brother is their favorite. Why do we have to do everything he wants? Why does he get to do whatever he wants? Why is his life always prioritized over mine?They bought him an undeserved Iphone 5C for christmas, and they let him sit around all day at home playing on it while they tell me to clean the house while I'm struggling to complete assignments... and he just sits there. I'm not freaking Cinderella alright? I don't want to be a lazy housewife, with no career of her own, with the inability to support herself. I've mentioned it enough times that you should remember that I strive to be a doctor. School still sucks, even though I spend most of my days alone doing homework or college research. I can't focus right with the pain in my spine. I continue to hope that my scoliosis proceeds in the healing process, but it's a slow and painful process (i'm not taking pain medication. I can do this on my own). I don't nessecarily feel like eating much at all, sometimes i have dinner at 11. Have I just become so inhumane that I forgot what a life is, or is my response to emotional pain just to shut everyone out?

"As the people who adore you stop adoring you; as they die; as they move on; as you shed them; as you shed your beauty; your youth ;as the world forgets you; as you recognize your transience; as you begin to lose your characteristics one by one; as you learn there is no-one watching you, and there never was, you think only about driving- not coming from any place; not arriving any place. Just driving, counting off time. Now you are here at 7:43. Now you are here at 7:44. Now you are" (Minister Synecdoche, New York). I get through pain knowing that I still have myself even though at times I feel like a walking body dead on the inside. I think about moving forward, closer to my dreams; closer to success. It doesn't matter what happened in the past, because I'm not there. I'm in the present. "Your past are the resources and the capabilities you glean from it. And that is the basis for all change" (the Wolf of Wall Street). Though my life is in no way filled with justice or equality, I will continue to project myself forward. I will act as if I am a success, and surely I will become one if I continue to make correct choices in my education. "Successful people are 100%convinced that they are master of their own destiny, they're not creatures of circumstance, they create circumstance, if the circumstances around them suck they change them" (The Wolf of Wall street). Success isn't easy to achieve. It takes blood, sweat, and tears (flashback to yesterday in english. Mrs. Kindred: "What's missing on this paper" Jason B: "Tears"). I will change my circumstances as soon as possible while still making the most helpful and correct changes for me, but the thing that is mostly bothering me, is when I heard Mr. Geib wasn't teaching AP next year, but that Mr. Fitz would.

My downfall seemed to have ignited 3 weeks ago when rumors of Mr. Fitz teaching AP next year circulated amongst my sophomore friends, and sadly reaching me. How could that even affect me? First I was mad because i didn't understand why he would quit on something he had created.Then i thought maybe he just wanted to try something new, then I thought it was our graduating class that had publically embarrassed him in front of the administrators, and finally I thought maybe he was irritated by the administrators with the whole cheating situation. It's none of my business though. His decisions don't need to be justified to anyone. I see Mr Geib as one of the most intelligent people i've ever met, therefore i respect him a great amount. I don't see many individuals fitting of filling his role as Foothill's AP US history teacher. I'm upset that he will need to be replaced (but no one can really replace Mr. Geib) because now others won't be submitted to his same torture we were exposed to. Though he chooses to leave the role of AP US history teacher behind, I'm sure he will never actually be forgotten in the minds of us little over achieving nerdlings or at Foothill as one of the most excelling intellectual teachers (good luck filling his shoes Mr. Fitz). Thanks Mr. Geib for everything you have taught me, or even tried to teach me (as well as you Mrs. Kindred).

P.S. One thing that also bothered me today was when I got handed Lisset's chapter packet. LISSET=GLASSES LIZBETH=SHY AWKWARD GIRL