Jakob+V’s+2017+OpEd+Article


 * T h e V a l l e y F o r g e **

There is a place in my mind I believe to be real... and although I have never been there, and never will be able to travel there, it exists nonetheless within my mind. And of course it is indeed all in my head. // "But why should that mean that it is not real?" //

There is a place in my mind where the sun makes its arc through the crisp blue sky over water and snow and tree and grass: a vibrant and colorful Valley Forge isolated from the world, an untold distance from civilization. Two ridges of mountains pull apart, and face each other. And between them lies a fresh expanse of frolicking grass and flowers, where the pines rise high and the waters gush freely. As the mountains of peril on either side of the Valley Forge separate to give way to the gorge in between, so too does the eternal storm above part into twin banks. Where one ridge of mountain ends, the frothing clouds do the same to form a front line, each drop of rain a soldier at the ready. The sky clears over the green expanse of the Valley Forge, but as the grass ends and the rocky mountains begin once more, a second storm stands facing the other, brooding and belligerent. The two cloud-banks stand ready to battle as heavy rains frozen cold seem to boil, and erratic thunderbolts shake and strike the craggy mountain peaks, impatiently. Perhaps the storms were once brothers, unified in their chaos... and perhaps one day their rage will meet and swirl together again. But the end of the storm-banks' eternal armistice marks the end of the Valley Forge, as it is engulfed and devoured by the forces of nature that stand to oppose... and that day is far from now, I hope. But from now until then, the purpose of the Valley Forge remains the same. It is a vessel, this beautiful place. It houses something that is always a part of me: it is the home of my Faith in Humanity.

Each day at sunrise, an elf which I neglected to name, walks out from the pines with a lantern, and makes his way to the center the grassy plains in between the mountains. There is a grate there, that when given a yank and a tug would pop open to reveal the shaft of an elevator reaching deep below the valley's surface. And to facilitate the descent is a single rickety cart attached to chains and gears, with a little lever at its side. Each day at sunrise, the elf which I neglected to name climbs into the cart and pulls the little lever. It takes him 5 minutes to reach the bottom. When he does, the cart hits the ground with a //bang!//, and the elf which I neglected to name hops out. His lantern barely illuminates the sides of a huge earthen dome that seems to have been hollowed out over the course of 16 years. In the center of the dome shimmers a pile of golden Faith in the Human Race. The glowing mass stands four times higher than the elf which I neglected to name. Lying in front of my Faith in Homo Sapiens is a shovel. The elf walks over to it, picks it up, and stabs it right into my Faith. He pulls up, gets a big chunk, and begins to walk around the big pile. Behind it is a closed Hell furnace that emits a deep rumble the closer you get to it. He kicks a foot pedal somewhere on the bottom of the furnace and the top swings open -- sparks fly! the red and orange light of Hellfire illuminate the whole of the cavernous dome, and the deep rumbling noise becomes a roar! Quickly, the Elf which I neglected to name thrusts his shoveled chunk of Faith into the flames of Hell, and kicks the pedal to close the furnace. The top slams back on and closes it tight, The light ceases and the sound muffles. Finally, the Elf turns and walks away to the rickety cart to begin his ascent. He does this all the time, the little fellow is so dedicated. Some days are harder than others; November 8, 2016 was a hard one for him, he had to cut the whole thing in half!

Don't understand my elaborate joke? Simply put, I have entrusted this elf with the upkeep of my Faith in the Humanity. And he wasn't doing anything I didn't tell him to do in the first place; every day he goes down to that cavern below the Valley Forge (I know, best Revolutionary War reference ever) and destroys a varying amount of the trust I hold in humanity to do the right thing. He is instructed to do so whenever somebody does something bad, like putting an enchilada in my water bottle... or signing an executive order banning immigrants... or judging somebody based on how they look... or getting slam drunk and harming others when you crash the car... or hurting other people because you have to create drama for yourself... or leaving your family for a selfish reasons and betraying years of work you put into raising your children... or taking other's lives away from them... I can go on and on and on and on. And so can the Elf which I neglected to name. However, despite the shortcomings we may have as a people, and as individuals, I truly think they are outweighed by the good of the world. We too can go on and on. Oh! I'm sorry. For I forgot to explain the very nature of Faith in Anything... Faith regenerates. It grows and multiplies, and it continues to shine no matter how many dents you make in it. Why do you think the Elf still has a job? For every chunk taken away, two times that grows back. So have Faith in one another, my friends.

PS: Much love to anyone who knows where the quote at the top is from! And don't lie and fucking look it up, or the elf will have to shovel more. -J