Sarah+L's+OpEd+Article

= Keep This Bash On the Dash (board) = Let's See How Many Bad Drivers You Can FindBy: Sarah L.

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Henry Ford is claimed to be brilliant for making the car available to all people of all classes across America. Yeah, sure he's brilliant. I wonder if he ever made the realization that some people, whether during his time or our time, are just NOT CAPABLE of operating a motor vehicle. We would be quick to condemn the man who made guns cheap and easily attainable for all people. Kids would shoot their eyes out, brain lapsing teenagers would aim at squirrels or pose like a thug for their facebook photos, my dad would sharp shoot in the backyard, Justin Bieber or Rebecca Black might not exist... It's not even a question that most people should not have guns of any sort. Well, the same goes for cars. There is not a day that goes by where I am thoroughly annoyed with the irritating habits and deficient driving skills of these irresponsible, ostentacious "drivers". If it were up to me, the 68.5% of bad drivers on American roads today would not own a motorized vehicle. They would be given a hearty slap and their precious cars impounded. Forever. They could catch the bus, find an awesome taxi service, or better yet, ride a bike, thereby giving me back my sanity and bringing world peace. If Common Sense is not your first language and you have yet to understand and agree, keep reading. A brief account of the annoyances I suffer will undoubtedly have you on board with the No Bad Driver Left Behind movement in no time.

Here I am, driving down the 101's carpool lane with my mom, at a safe 68 mph, defensively positioned among some of the worst and most dangerous drivers on one of the most crowded, accident-prone freeways in the world (according to the California Driver's Handbook). It was a lucky thing I allowed a cushion of space between me and the car in front because, out of nowhere, some idiot in a Range Rover darts over the double yellows into the carpool lane, nearly cutting me off, the bastard. What's even funnier is, unless there was a midget-ish person crouching down, the so-called driver was the only one in the car. Huh..I honestly thought the "2 or more people" signs every few miles were actually real. Are you stupid or do you just wholly disregard the concept of the carpool lane and the double yellow lines?

But the dude's license plate was what made me snap: YUBH8N. Obviously because you not only endanger everyone on the road, you're like every other annoying SCCRMOM or SXYCHIC who think they have to convey a certain lifestyle to the world, as if we care. I don't want to know that its K8SBMW or a K9WAGON. Keep your identity crisis off the road.

Mornings are supposedly the peaceful part of the day. The sun shines, birds sing, horns honk, brakes screech, people yell, chaos ensues. No. NOT peaceful. The morning is the most brutal time of day, where the bad drivers emerge from their den to prey on the minds and health of the decent drivers. They can be seen in their natural element, that is, in an aggressive and DGAF nature during the Great Migration of the Morning Commute. They weave carelessly through the other cars on the freeway because their schedule is by far more important than everyone else's. They step on the gas a good 200 feet away to make the yellow light. Oh okay, look at you bro. That sign says "Yield" but you own the streets so you know, it's all good.

Those who let their concious minds fly away are ten times worse than aggressive drivers claims my mom. They are 50% more likely to cause accidents and 1/2 of them are responsible for worldwide irritability. You know the kind I am talking about. There is the driver who has no idea the left turn signal turned green...only to lurch forward like a wounded hippo a sacred 15 seconds later. Or the seriously confused soul who forgets her "brights" are on, so we can't help but stare into the blinding light like disoriented moths. And there's the imbecile who decides he needs a six-pack at Vons while we slam on our brakes to accomodate his sudden turn.

You chat on your phone about the shoes you just bought. You sip your Javachip frap with one hand and turn on your kid's Little Einstein video with the other. You refuse to use the multiple cupholders located in every crevice. For all that is good, simply drive. You overcorrect yourself, drift into my lane, swerve past bikers, and stare at people through your tinted windows at the stoplight. You scare me, you bad drivers. Don't text. Don't check youself out in the mirror. Don't let your eyes glaze over. Don't act like you are the only one out here. And above all, do NOT remain in denial if you see even a hint of yourself in any of these categories. Whatever it takes, fix it. I recommend: