Francisco+V’s+OpEd+Article

=WHY IN THE FLYING CHIMICHANGAS CAN'T I OWN A HEDGEHOG?!?!?!? =

Well as you can see my topic is going to be about pet ownership in California, and more specifically, the Hedgehog. How in the flying fladoodles, could you not want a "sharp" (punpunpun) looking pet. If it wasn't for Section 671, Title 14, of the California Code of Regulations, you could be hugging your pet hedgehog today. I wasn't just "poking" around the California Codes for nothing. This Code also includes ferrets, *gasp* sloths, and a lot of other animals. If I had a pet hedgehog, his name would either be Spiky or Sonic. Back to the topic at hand, I don't see why I can own a Chinchilla (off topic but if I had a Chinchilla his name would have to be Knuckles), but not a Hedgehog. Chinchillas are a huge hassle to take care of. You can't even give them a regular bath. You would have to clean their body with volcanic ashes. Hedgehogs can take normal showers with water(You know Agua, H20, or good old Dihydrogen Monoxide). They may be slightly dangerous but so are dogs and especially cats. I hate cats! No I don't, but a cat once tried to eat my finger, but after several hours of agonizing fighting. I showed the cat I was the superior feline and told her to stop (Humans are obviously mammals). There would be two reasons for the restriction of Hedgehogs as pets. One would be if the animal was endangered. I researched this subject and found that *wild* hedgehogs are endangered in the UK but not in the US. The most common species that are kept as pets include hybrids of the White-Bellied Hedgehog or Four-Toed Hedgehog, North African Hedgehog, Long-Eared Hedgehog, and the Indian Long-Eared Hedgehog. The second reason for the restriction of hedgehogs as pets would be that they pose a threat to our native fish and wildlife, agriculture or public health and safety. All animals have a possibility of these problems if they are let into the wild. If you are a responsible pet owner and treat your hedgehog nice and actually take care of it, then this problem can be avoided. You may say that their spines are dangerous but dogs have their large canine teeth, cats have their razor sharp claws. Every animals is dangerous to a degree. Humans are no exception. We abuse, murder and steal things from other people. We always see murders on the news, we have seen massive genocides in history. I never see "Tiny Hedgehog wearing a Santa Hat attacks and kills owner" on the news. These things don't really happen. Even the big, bad shark kills less humans a year than falling coconuts. I have a dream, where all (most) Hedgehogs can stand together with all humans and live a peaceful life together. I just want to lie together with my pet Spiky on a cold winter day (Ventura never has super cold winter days), by the fire, drinking some hot chocolate. If I could own a hedgehog, we would be the best of buds. He would have his own hat and would look like a stud when we go cruise Main Street for some female Hedgehogs. He would be the best wing man ever and would stick to the "Guyble." To wrap up my rant, I will just end it with, did you see the super adorable picture of the tiny Hedgehog! (Located at the top of the screen in case you missed it because you were trying to figure out time travel while writing your response to the classic question, "If a tree falls in the forest and if no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?) Back to Hedgehogs, how could you not want to take on of these amazing and loving pets home. (Well maybe if you are soulless, anti-happiness, and just all around horrible person). P.s. I am 100% percent kidding about my earlier comment. Everyone has their opinions and that is what makes America, 'Murica (that and deep fried, bacon filled, chocolate covered Twinkies, with a side of extra heart attacks).