Elise+D’s+OpEd+Article

“The Shake” Ahhh Mornings, the moment when I would rather hit my head repeatedly against a brick wall like Bartleby than drink the protein shake filled with despair. You see my dad is the one who single handedly creates a new unique concoction every morning filled with all kinds of unique healthy ingredients. The blender is a new unearthly thing that could be compared to a tornado that consumes anything and everything. Numerous ingredients are swirled together to create one thick and toxic soup that is probably illegal in multiple countries. The drinking of the shakes all started in middle school and as I evolved they also evolved. Their evolution went from a tasty peanut butter protein shake to a lumpy liquid, infested with foreign substances. The first generation of the shake could be compared to the delicious Peanut Butter Blenders in the Grass smoothie. In the beginning the shakes were mainly created to benefit my brother, who played Football at Saint Bonaventure but as time went on they became a daily routine for all of us. As the shakes got rougher and rougher my siblings and I had to find ways to beat the system. My brother would occasionally dump the shake down the toilet or sink. My brother truly mastered these methods while my sisters and I were terrified of the ominous eyes of my father that lurked everywhere. Before my brother left for college we came up with the idea of creating a parody of “Throw it on the Ground” by Lonely Island. Instead the song title would be “Throw it in the Shake.” At this point you may be wondering what did my father throw in the shake? I would respond by saying EVERYTHING! I know for a fact that ricotta cheese, sweet potatoes, pumpkin spice crème cheese, stale cookies, oatmeal, and rancid flax seed meal have been some of the many ingredients to appear in the infamous smoothie. Now, Just imagine these items mixed with cookies and crème protein and occasionally milk that is about to go bad. Does not that sound delicious? Honestly I have a love/hate relationship with the shakes. They have become a rite of passage in my family. We laugh and joke around all the time. The shakes have been a constant catalyst of timeless moments and memories. I still have one more year left of the daily protein shake. In a year I will be in college and the shakes will forever be a legend. I will conclude my paper with a quote from one of my favorite teachers, “ Hey, if you do not finish that sandwich you can always throw it in the shake.”(Mr. Kellogg)