Sarah+S’s+OpEd+Article



My steps are heavy, my breath is hoarse, I’ve lost all interest in trying to maintain my posture. All I want to do is turn around and head back to Buena – or just…stop. I want to stop running; I even wonder what would happen if I just collapsed on the side of the road – if they’d start to drag me along the pavement until I gather myself on my feet. But I keep going – I’m not going to turn around even though my muscles burn or the sun feels like it has amped it up a few degrees than normal. Not everyone wants to continue. Some decide to turn around, but if they can help it they’ll skirt me because I’m the hound that will say no. It’s the individual’s own decision to pull through a tough run, a workout, or kick it up a notch during a race. Sometimes people will want to turn around early and cut things short. I don’t blame them, but I can never commend what they are doing. It shouldn’t matter what I do, or what they do, because despite how much you rely on your teammates, running is pretty much an independent sport. Sometimes I’m there, or assigned to the group, when people want to cut. Please don’t pin me as the enemy. A sinking feeling settles in my chest when I hear this kind of decision being made, like I’ve failed them somehow. Especially when I fail to convince them otherwise, and especially when they grow visibly agitated; sometime I receive this look as if I am the source of their pain. Defeated, I shrug it off: this will only end up hurting themselves, and I won’t police everyone. If we’re on a run, they’ll turn around. If we’re in a group, during a workout...Suddenly, I need to be contained. Please do not try to drag me down with you. I’m not going to compromise on things like this. It’s like ramming heads against a bull, skidding my heels against the dirt and trying not to get shoved off the edge when they gain in numbers. The people, who didn’t think of cutting before, suddenly jump to the other side. Eventually…I am down to one. “Sarah, just //let it go//.” “It’s not that big of a deal.” “Sarah, //don’t say anything//.” Please don’t ask me to cover for you. If I’m lucky, once I line up to finish the workout, some people will feel guilty and begrudgingly do it…not always without it being clear that they’re not happy. I don’t like doing this, but I’m not going to get scared away by popular vote or murderous glances. It makes me sad to see people give up like this; I don’t care much of the impression they have of me, but that this sort of thing has to happen in the first place. Especially that it is widely ‘okay’ without much thought. This isn’t just an example for running, but applies to other instances as well. Let’s hope that the pressure shifts to doing whatever it is you’re supposed to, instead of the opposite.