David+C's+Op-Ed+Article



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My god, do I hate all of the rules, and the exceptions to the rules present in the English language. Can I please go a day without questioning whether or not I pronounced something right? I know that not many of us students enjoy Spanish class, but at least the language makes some sense! Each letter makes one sound and one sound only. But not with English, we have to deal with so much more nonsense.

Sure some words end in the same 4 letters, but that doesn’t mean they sound the same. //Through, Though, Enough, and// //Cough// all end in the suffix –ough, but of course they all sound DIFFERENT. I just don’t get it; who came up with this nonsense? If I show you the word “ghoti” you will most likely read it as “GO-TEA”. With some manipulation you can see that the word “ghoti” can easily have the same pronunciation as “fish” (See image above). With some more thought put into it, “ghoti” can also be a completely silent word. Use the “gh” in //though,// the “o” in //people,// the “t” in //ballet,// and the “i” in //business,// and Boom! “ghoti” now has no sound whatsoever. Yeah, take that, all you English majors out there, maybe you can earn your degrees back when you can fix how stupid our language is.

Why spell things with silent letters? Somebody tell me where the “g” in //impugn// went. I’m not willing to go on a “Where’s Waldo?” hunt every time I spell a word. For the sake of frustrated spelling-bee contestants everywhere, can we please change the spelling of “impugn” from //I-M-P-U-G-N// to //I-M-P-Y-O-O-N?// I’m not the guy who hates America; I love our country. I just seriously wish we could fix the glaring flaws of our language. Think of all the poor kids who emigrate here from other countries and are made fun of because they can’t speak English well. It’s not their fault our damn language has so many stupid rules.

The longest word in the dictionary is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Yeah. Some weirdo sat down and said that that a weird name disease would be labeled with 45 letters. That's just ridiculous. Poverty, hunger, and Joseph Kony can wait; let’s start with the words that come out of our mouths before we tackle miniscule issues like that. (Just kidding).