Hanna+R’s+OpEd+Article

Words fly at us like razor-sharp knives, each time chipping away at our confidence. Words are the most powerful tool. Maybe we have loving parents to tell us that we are special and we shouldn't listen to them because they don't know how perfect we really are, that they are just jealous, that we are beautiful. Maybe we don't believe them because it's easier to believe that it's all a lie, that we are stupid, ugly, worthless, unlovable. Every day, we judge and are judged: judged by ourselves and by others. We are judged by our friends, our enemies, our classmates, and strangers we see on the street. We are judged by colleges.

But what do they know about us? What right do they have to determine our future based on some stupid test score? Our life is determined by their judgment, their slightest whim, one flick of their finger. Yes or no.

We are all restricted to the conformities of society, predestined to act and look a certain way, follow certain customary rules of rituals. The boy must pay for the first date. The guy must ask the girl to marry him. The wife must take the husband's last name. Any change is met with resistance, until it too becomes mainstream, and slowly morphs into the new definition of confinement. Women demand equal rights, and yet society commits the ultimate hypocrisy by imprisoning men to a certain stereotype. A woman can do anything a man can do, but a man cannot do anything a woman can do. He cannot wear girly clothes, cry in public, or say another guy is attractive without being judged and labeled. And yet a man who is too manly is criticized of not being comfortable enough in his masculinity.

But who are we to judge? Men are now restricted almost to the extent of our feminist predecessors. History is repeating itself for the worse.

Recently my grandma was in the hospital as a result of a brutal car accident. She had five surgeries in a month and more screenings and tests than any of us could count. Many times, my mom and uncle would have to stay with her throughout the night to make sure the nurses would not neglect her. And why would the nurses neglect her? Because she is elderly. Now my grandma is a very astute woman, but I guess those nurses were used to bumbling old folks telling them stories about the good old days, because they didn't listen to a word she said. When my grandma said something, the nurses would merely smile and nod, but when my mom said the same thing, they would run to do something about it. I will give you an example. On one particular occasion, my grandma was going in for a CAT scan. The nurse had already put a line on her right arm, forgot about it, and was going to do the scan on a different line in her left arm. My grandma told her at once that it was the wrong arm, that she had already put the line in her right arm. The nurse gave her the usual smile-and-nod acknowledgment, but proceeded with the scan on her left arm. Long story short it was a horrible mess with lots of blood squirting. At this point, my mom stepped in and told the nurse that the line was one the right arm, not the left, to which the nurse responded with "Oh my! You are right! Oh dear, I'm so sorry, I didn't notice that! Thank you very much for your observation, if only you would have said something earlier"... This was not the only instance.

Who was she to judge? If only she would have taken my grandma seriously in the first place, the whole bloody mess could have been avoided. Now of course I'm not saying all nurses discriminate against old people, because I know that to be a fallacy. And I am not saying that older people always know what they are talking about, but couldn't she have at least checked to see if my grandma was right?

One time I was at the mall participating in "Mall Madness" for BioScience. Mall Madness is basically where you dress up as something, walk around the mall, and the other people from Foothill try to find and recognize you based on a picture of you from school. It is extremely fun and I go every year, even though I am not even in BioScience. I did it the first time as a freshman, and I dressed up as a pregnant girl. You have no idea how many dirty glances I got walking around the mall with my friend. At one point, a woman came up to me and rubbed my belly, speaking extremely rapidly in Spanish. I had no idea what she was saying, but I got the feeling that it wasn't good. In my case, it was an experiment of sorts, but if I really had been pregnant, I would have felt completely humiliated. Now of course this is a fake scenario, but I'm sure occurrences like these happen to pregnant teens every day, everywhere.

But who are these people? What gives them the right to judge? They don't know her story.

My cousin is 21. She is shorter than me, and looks much younger than she is in actuality. She has been going out with her boyfriend since high school, and they got engaged when they graduated. They have been engaged for three years now, and have set their wedding for after their her graduation from college, next June. Whenever she comes up in conversation, the adults in my family always shake their heads disapprovingly. They say she's "too young", that she needs to live a little before settling down to have a family. It is not socially acceptable to get married at this age anymore, and maybe they are right.

But how can they say it isn't love? Only she can know that. And if it's love, then hey! Who are they to judge?

Last year in Mrs. Eulau's World History class, my friend and I were imitating and laughing at a man in a video we were watching. He had a lopsided face and a twitch when he spoke. At the time, it was the funniest thing in the world. We later learned that he was irreparably maimed in a war battle. We felt so bad for making fun of him that I vowed I would never make fun of anyone again.

Who were we to judge? We cannot pretend to know another's life unless we have "walked a mile in their moccasins" so to speak.

In judging others without knowing the full story, we are often the ones who end up being the fools. Each day people are judged based on style, gender, sexual orientation, race, age, and countless other factors. We all do it: make those split second judgment calls about people. It is an undeniable and uncontrollable part of life. But next time you catch yourself, Stop. Take a step back. And think before you act. One scathing look or unkind word can make all the difference in the world.