Emily+S's+OpEd+Article

by Emily S. media type="file" key="emilys-muckraker-2011.mp3" ' This is a tale of which there really is no end. It is a perpetual quest that drives me to get up in the morning, that has a tendency to put a quirk in my step, and that gives me the craving to use the word “odd” as much as possible (being that it is relevant of course). I love absurdity, I love how absurd the word “absurd” sounds. I love that musical ting, the word gives when presented with an upward inflection. Try it…did you try it?…well if you didn’t then that is just a bummer. You just blew a chance at making the sad fact that you are actually reading or listening to this, a tad more cheerier. But you decided not to…don’t try it now, because it won’t work…I gave you a perfect opportunity, and you passed it by. Now that‘s going to be resting on your shoulders for a very long time. You will come to the toaster one day and wonder “ Oh, I wonder what would have become of me if I had done what the narrator told me…” and then you will forget what you were about to toast (ha that sounds really funny as a verb)!
 * Honey, please get off the chimney!**

Okay let’s take a tally- there was: Addressing the reader in a conversation like tone Insulting that reader-I sort of did that one in my head but don’t take offense Using the word “but” to begin a sentence Lecturing the reader Insulting my writing Giving the reader a speaking lesson Used ellipses multiple times Using the word “toast” as a verb And bantering on like I’ve done here

Total, 8. Well, maybe 7 if you don’t count the last one ( which would be a very silly thing to do). You see, what I have done, is add 8 nice tasty absurd things to your, (hopefully not) dry and flaky day. See I don’t think that the every day Joe or Jeana get’s enough absurdity daily. In fact only .5% of one person out of the 6 people I polled said that they had experienced something absurd in the last 24 hours. That is a very unsettling thing. People should be able to take a break from their stagnate lifestyle, and step into a world that is a stranger to them. That kind of an experience opens ones’ mind to new possibilities. But that doesn’t happen, not to me (well not a lot at least, ) and not to you. Life isn’t fair, what I meant to say is utilize your surroundings, If things aren’t absurd enough for your liking then change them. Try, talking to inanimate objects, or organizing a file cabinet while laying upside down. Those should get you on the right path to seeing and experiencing more absurd things in your day. And if you are content with the way your life rolls, on a smooth trail with no magical trap doors or sudden appearance of banana trees then so be it. Continue on that trail and never look back, but be aware that some scientist in the Cotswold’s says that celebrating the more absurd quality’s in life, has been proven to make one happier, more whimsical, and an all around better carbon based life form.