Aubrey+P’s+2017+OpEd+Article

“What were you wearing that night?” “Are you sure you weren’t ‘being a tease’?” “Well, boys will be boys.” “But, men can’t get raped.”
 * Who’s to Blame? ** ** By Aubrey Paul **

Every 98 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. 1 out of 5 women will be sexually assaulted at least once in their life. But it’s their own fault right? Since they were wearing a short skirt, they //obviously// were seeking attention. Since they took that extra shot, they //obviously// were “asking for it,” right? Wrong. Every 98 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted and it is NEVER under any circumstances their own fault. For some ridiculous reason - whether it has to do with their ignorance to the seriousness of rape culture or just their plain stupidity - people find it “okay” to blame victims of rape and sexual assault for the wrongdoing of their perpetrator. It has gotten to the point where victims of assault are silenced, fearing the outcome if they attempted to speak out about their experience. Maybe it is because people are not educated enough on the topic of rape culture. It’s the elephant in the room. The topic that goes unspoken. So let me educate you. Rape is defined as unlawful sexual activity carried out forcibly against the will of a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent. //Unlawful sexual activity//.//Incapable of valid consent//. Let that sink in for a second. How is it even remotely valid to blame someone if they had no say in the act taking place? “Why didn’t you try to fight them off?” “Maybe you didn’t fight hard enough.” People who have never been sexually assaulted will never know what it feels like to be in that moment. To feel helpless and confused, afraid to stay silent but even more afraid to speak up. Yet they like to act like they know what the victim is feeling. “I would never be in that situation because I’m not like them.” You’re right. You’re not like them, so stop acting like you know what they’re going through and educate yourself before you blame someone. Until you experience assault first hand, you will never know how it feels. Victims of assault are often silenced. They fear the backlash that they will receive for disrupting the norm or ruining their perpetrator's reputation. Many people affected by sexual assault learn to cope with their problem internally, never letting the public know about their experience with assault out of embarrassment. This life of silence and fear and embarrassment is all due to the appropriation of rape culture and the blaming of victims. It saddens me to know that millions of people around the world have to cope silently without anyone to turn to. I stand against rape culture because I believe in speaking your mind. I stand against rape culture because the appropriation of assault is profoundly offensive. I stand against rape culture because I want to put an end to sexual violence. A slurred “no” does not equal try harder. When I glance at you from across the bar, it doesn’t mean that I want to go to bed with you. I wear my clothes for me, not for you. NO means NO; anywhere, anytime, under any circumstance.