Quinlan+M+OpEd+Article

Those Pop Up Punks!

Some jobs in America today are the biggest joke on the face of the planet. Examples: Gold Farmer on World of War Craft, Telemarketer, Door Monitor, The guy that holds the sign to indicate construction when you can plainly see the construction zone in front you, but the worst, most annoying, most pointless, stupidest, lamest job on the face of the planet is INTERNET MARKETERS!!!!! Those “Internet Marketers” are the bane of my existence. I imagine all those damn internet freaks right now in a dark room with there stingy old pizza sitting on their night stand next to them as they stare at their blinking computer screens and send out thousands of annoying emails that consist of a hundreds thousand pop ups and Russian wives that you can buy and import into America.

Just yesterday I received one of these emails. I click on it and there is a pop up, as I try to click the exit button these spawns from hell just keep popping up. Shortly after, my computer nearly explodes on my desk then turns off. Once I finally get my computer running again, there are new spam emails. This computer molestation must end!

Not only do these people abuse your email, they abuse the Internet with pop ups running ramped from page to page. The Internet should be a fantastic place, where the ability to retrieve information on anything is possible. Where Communication with anyone around the world is obtainable. It's a significant step in the development of the human race. Then you got those assholes who are like I'm gonna destroy this valued contribution to mankind with all of my pop ups! And oh yeah the answers to what you are searching are out there, but you are going to have to dig through an immense pile of shit to get them.

American people, I call upon you to end this. Are you tired of Satin’s spawns sending you endless emails? Are you tired of Internet searches that result in pop ups of Kim Kardashian’s latest “Tape”? Cause I am! We Americans must band together to stop this nonsense that interrupts/compromises our daily Internet needs.