Holly+G’s+OpEd+Article

= "Grow Up, Get Real" = Excuse the redundancy (since we had just blogged about cheating), but this topic is something I don’t mind reiterating. Cheating in a relationship is NEVER okay. No, I’m sorry to break this to you, but if cheating is okay in your book, you’re either a whore, or childish.

I mean sure, while you’re young, exploring and experimenting is everything. If a guy or girl crosses your path that you find sexy, you will immediately roll through reels in your head about their body naked or you two having some sort of interaction. It’s natural, and that is something I don’t condemn. Have whatever fantasies you like, I don’t care how explicit or “kinky”, but once you involve another person in your life that you care enough about to give a title such as boy or girlfriend, fiancé, wife or husband, you have just entered a new realm of relationship. This is no longer casual, this is no longer you two plus whoever you want on the side, this is you and that person. Period. Until you aren’t together any more.

What’re some things you may wrestle with, some questions that get your shoulder angel and devil quarreling over? Let me make a few things clear for you: 1.) What if they cheated on you first? Unfortunately for you, your significant other had made a huge mistake, whether you want to forgive them and move on is your own personal decision, but that does not make tic-for-tac revenge alright. Forgiveness means letting it go, and if you go and have intercourse with the next member of the opposite sex, you haven’t made anything better. In fact, you just made your relationship even more complex. 2.) What if they don’t want sex? Well, what irony. The one person you would love to have sex with doesn’t want to. It’s your decision whether or not you would leave this person for the sake of insertion or getting inserted, but again, cheating on them won’t make anything better. If all you want it sex? I recommend staying single. 3.) What if I’m drunk? Learn to either control yourself when drunk, control your alcohol, or don’t get drunk. If that’s hard for you, you have some other problems. Why would you think a substance is a good excuse for cheating anyways? 4.) What if they’d never find out? Just because they wouldn’t doesn’t mean it automatically clears your conscience, obviously you know what you’ve done and if you have the decency and enough loyalty to your partner, you would fess up. If not, that’s your choice, but what’s the point of even being in a relationship if you’re going to keep secrets like that? Why create that much stress, and why be susceptible to that much karma? Yikes. 5.) What if it’s a different area code? Let’s face it, what happens in Vegas, doesn’t stay in Vegas (you should have gotten that from the Hangover), and being away from your partner doesn’t mean you’re not with them anymore. If you’re going to be away for a length of time, and you can’t resist temptation and your girl/guy can’t handle long distance then break up before hand. Coming home to a relationship after that much freedom doesn’t add up well. Besides, you shouldn’t have the mindset that if they’re not around you can do whatever you want! You are responsible for and to that person. 6.) What if it’s just flirting? This is grey area. I can’t tell you what you can and can’t do in relation to other members besides your partner, that’s for you two to discuss. Just think of it as “treat them the way you want to be treated”, and when in doubt, don’t do it.

Now, I’m not saying you can’t go out, have fun, have friends of the opposite sex, or whatever else is involved with this topic, I’m just saying casual and serious relationships are completely different things. Here, let me make things even more clear: If you want the single lifestyle, stay single. If you enjoy being with everyone, hey, embrace it! Stay single! If you are praised for how many girls/guys you can get with, you go champ, stay single! If you can handle the responsibility and work it takes to be with another person, bravo my friend. In retrospect, you’re just trading one lifestyle for another, whether one is better than the other is up to personal preference, but the equation is simple: Cheating is a choice, not a mistake. Stay faithful, or stay single.