Rachel+B’s+2017+OpEd+Article

I know what it’s like to be the victim I know what it’s like to be blamed I remember everything like it was just yesterday I remember their hands on my skin I remember every single word that came out of their mouth ‘ Just let me do this, C’mon Rach, you were asking for this

Look at what you’re wearing today I thought you liked me I thought we were friends, friends do this right ‘ I remember saying stop, pleading them to stop I remember trying my hardest to take their hands off my body But I couldn’t, I just couldn’t

I know what it’s like to feel like the guilty one They told me, “these things happen” They told me, “get over it already” They told me, “To apologize for what I did; what did I do What did I ever do to deserve this I know what it’s like to scrub your skin until it’s bleeding, just to get rid of the feeling I know what it’s like to feel like a victim Because I am a victim But now that you know my story I want you to know the future of yours

I want you to know my sweet girl, that it was not consensual I want you to know my sweet boy, that you never deserved this I want you to know that your clothes do not give them permission to hurt you And you are not the ones to be blamed I want you to know that it’s nothing to be ashamed of I want you to know that it’s okay to cry, to hurt, to feel I want you to know that you are loved and what happened to you will never define you I want you to know that you should never apologize, because it wasn't your fault I want you to know that you are not alone Oh my children, you will never be alone

Signed, the author of this blog



We live in a society where no one talks about it. If you bring it up, you get shut down, if you’re a victim, you get the “I’m sorry” or questions that you’ve heard a millions times by now. The schools never mention it, hell the only thing they care about is not getting lawsuits. Because even at a young age we’re taught that if someone is mean to you then they like you. This is not the case nor will it ever be the case. Rape will always be rape and sexual assault will always be sexual assault.

But I am sad to say our society doesn’t see it that way. They look at the victim and ask them, “what were you wearing,” “were you drunk,” “are you sure you were raped;” because we live in a place where it’s more shameful to be raped than be a rapist. We live in a society that glorifies rape in it’s music and culture. Take for instance the very popular song “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke is all about about rape. And the famous song “Summer Nights” from Grease and don’t forget about that sketchy Christmas song everyone knows, yep, “Baby it’s Cold Outside.” And then we move it to our everyday commercials, where they use women to sell their products. These present women as objects a subject for which men can masturbate to and it leads to the facts that men think they can have sex with anyone they want to. And the fact that we have to downgrade a woman just be our everyday language. I lost count of how many times I hear the words whore, slut, cunt, ho or bitches. We use those words to describe a woman’s actions or personality. And what really defines a persona s a slut or a whore. Just because she sleeps around or dresses a certain way. I mean that should be her right as a human being. But no, we say that if she was slut and got raped then she was looking for it. Because who told to wear a short dress with way too much makeup I mean this sounds like a fashion problem not a justification to be raped. And because she wears six inch heels she’s automatically a whore and you think she deserves to be raped, hell to the fucking no. Honestly I think they just upset men because they see a women with heels longer than their dick size.



We live in a society where rape culture is so efficient and so hurtful that girls are afraid to walk alone, wear certain clothes, or go to college because one in three college students get raped. We live in a society that blames the victims not the rapists. We ask, “did you have an **orgasm**,” and you did then automatically you must of liked it. But what they don’t realize is that a chance of a woman's body shutting an orgasm down is 0 in 3.2 billion. So just because she couldn’t help it does not mean it was justified. But again we live in a society that imprisons women for being raped, kills her because she said stop, and ultimately hates her because she had to courage to stand for an injustice.

We tell our girls and boys to protect themselves or understand what it means to be raped. But nobody understands is that we start embedding the idea of man-ruled world and rape culture society from the day they hit the first grade. They tell the parents that it’s a bad idea if the girls wear shorts because it makes the boys feel uncomfortable. By the time you hit the third grade they give the girls a talk about wearing undershirts or bras because boys are starting to notice our nipples. By middle and high school we are introduced to the dress code. Personally I hate the dress code, I believe that it supports rape culture in every single aspect. __DISCLAIMER__ : I am not saying that I want kids come to to school naked, so just hear me out. Dress codes are mostly aimed at girls and that’s problem number one. I see guys with their pants hanging so low I wonder where their crotch is but if a girl just shows one inch of her bra, oh, all hell breaks loose. Problem number two is why is everything in the dress code so specific? If a girls shows her shoulder or back then no, she has to change because it’s distracting to others. Sorry but I have to change my super amazing outfit because it makes some horny teenager thirsty and it makes my teachers uncomfortable. It doesn’t make sense, we are giving into the idea of victim-blaming. W e tells the girls to change because of what a man feels or thinks about us. It's bullshit. Just because a man get turned on we have to change our clothes. Girls get turned on all the time but we don’t do anything about it. But when a guy gets turned on he decides that he’s going to help himself to a lovely side of // vagina //. I mean when I get turned on and I think to myself, “damn that boy is fucking fine,” not,”I’m gonna go force myself onto him.”

I have just one sentence to finish this, “stop enforcing rape culture into our society.”

Message from the author: “They say God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And as much as anyone can say how invincible {we may} seem or how fearless {we are} or how brave {we] must be, {we’re} still human. >
 * Kehlani